Acceptance is the pathway to forgiveness.

Acceptance is the pathway to forgiveness.

When you accept things as they are, the space for forgiveness is created. For most of us, this is easier said than done. Our society has taught us to hate, especially if we’re harmed. Wars start this way. Wars with countries, with communities, social and political groups, families, friends and ourselves. When we relish in resentment, we’re unable to experience forgiveness. It blocks us from the lesson the experience is her to teach us. 

Many people struggle with what it means to forgive. I’ve encountered many people unwilling to forgive because they’re afraid if they do, then they condoned the behavior of the person who harmed them. Others have shared their belief that forgiveness meant having to be close with whomever harmed them. Neither are true; they’re just beliefs. These perspectives lead to an internal struggle which makes it impossible to let go of the pain. 

Forgiveness is about looking deep within yourself and sitting with the pain you experienced. Then once you’ve witnessed it and are there for yourself, then you can accept what happened and forgive the transgression. For example, if your mother was abusive when you were a child and you continue to blame her for how your life has turned out, then you’ll continue to loop in the behavior patterns you experienced within the relationship. These patterns then repeat in your personal and professional relationships, until you go within and change your perspective. Once you’ve accepted that it wasn’t your fault, and your mother was repeating patterns that she had learned, then you can forgive her and forgive yourself for perpetuating the pattern. Memories and feelings may continue to surface, but with your newfound view of the situation, you can easily navigate through your thoughts and feelings and experience forgiveness, growth and expansion.